Personal Essay - Cheryl Swing
At sixteen I established a chapter of the Fellowship of Christian
Athletes at my high school. Over the next two years I shared my faith journey at
weekend rallies and conferences across the country. I was later honored by
their national organization with a scholarship. At the same time I was being
heavily recruited for athletic scholarships. Life was really good … and then a freak
thing happened to me, just four months shy of graduation.
I was hospitalized for two weeks after a staph infection in my right foot
led to blood poisoning. During that time I spent a great deal of time in prayer
about my future. I vividly remember God impressing upon me that my athletic
ability was merely a catalyst. I knew in those moments that I did not need two
feet to fulfill His call on my life. In fact, I accepted that no matter the
outcome, I would commit myself to humbly follow Him and since that day I have had
unwavering faith that God would equip me with all the necessary tools.
Fast
forward 25 years. I was married to my partner, successfully employed, had a brand
new baby girl, and was a part-time seminary student at Iliff. My life seemed on
track but my heart was unfulfilled. What I felt compelled to do next would change
the course of my life forever. It became necessary to end my ten year relationship
with my partner. I moved into a spare bedroom at a co-worker’s house. I forfeited
our friends, our home, and our church so that my ex-partner could maintain that
sense of security. This decision came from a deep sense of emotional necessity.
We eventually lost our home. I nearly lost my job and I was forced to withdraw
from Iliff. As I fought to regain my own identity I broke my daughter’s heart.
In
a desperate search for something to distract me I found the sport of Triathlon.
During the long hours of solitude running, biking, and swimming I found a huge part
of me that had been missing. I began to grow spiritually. It was clear that God
was using this time to silence me so I would be open to His guidance. He was
bringing me back into His fold and bringing people into my life to support the
journey ahead.
Last
March I fell in a pot hole and the resulting injury required an ankle
reconstruction. The morning of my surgery I felt an overwhelming sense of concern.
As I gathered myself I instructed my Mom on how to handle my affairs should
anything happen. During the surgery my heart rate dropped and my blood pressure
plummeted. The physicians exhausted all normal protocols but for my safety they
had to abort the surgery. When I awoke in the operating room I felt the sense
of urgency permeating the room. There were wires attached to my body and a
nurse holding paddles. I heard “Are we going to the ER?” then “Does anyone know
where her mother is?” The doctors tried to figure out what had happened to me. This
was a medical anomaly but I am convinced that this was God demanding my
attention. Thankfully I was able to complete a second surgery a few weeks later
and was on the road to recovery.
After
being bedridden for a few weeks I realized that I was in for a rude awakening.
I was a single mom with a seven year old. I was non-weight bearing for ten weeks
and lived on the second floor of an
apartment building with twenty-five steps. The most unexpected people came
forward. I was completely surrounded with love, prayer and support. I began to
understand the events of the past six months. The Master Potter had been molding and shaping
me as He prepared me for what lie ahead. Through the generosity and kindness of
others I learned a valuable lesson – to receive gracefully. It was truly a
humbling experience. Everything was falling into place for my physical and
spiritual rehabilitation. It all happened in such a way that only God could
have orchestrated. Once again, God took away my foot to slow me down so that I
could hear Him.
The part of the Iliff
mission statement that strongly resonates with me is “to educate for effective ministry in Christian churches and other religious
communities”. Aside
from the privilege of being a mother, my short time at Iliff was the most
invigorating and spiritually rewarding time in my life. For
decades I have contemplated a career in pastoral leadership. I have pondered higher
education. I have considered prison ministry. I once even explored mortuary
science as I felt I had a gift to comfort and console those in grief. Over the
past decade I have reflecting on my ability to listen and counsel others. Author and activist Parker Palmer
once wrote, “Before I can tell my life
what I want to do with it, I must l listen to my life telling me who I am.”
I
believe God has equipped me to be a leader in our community. He has nurtured me
to bring peace and to build bridges. With an innate ability to blend with most
any group, I am able to encourage unity and provoke purpose. I am a confident
and determined person who leads by example. I do not presume to have all the
answers but God continues to put an Iliff education on my heart. I know that
through spiritual discernment, mentorship, prayer and life experiences that my
path will be revealed. It is my unwavering faith that keeps me tenaciously
seeking this.
My journey to Iliff has
been arduous. I initially inquired in 2002 after attending an informational
dinner, An Evening at Iliff. Years
passed and I served in several churches, even co-founded Open Door Community
Church where I assumed the role of Associate Pastor. I continued to study
scripture and grew to fully accept that I was perfectly created in the image of
God. In 2004 I attended a PFLAG meeting (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
and listened to several transgender speakers. I felt compassion for them yet I
was thankful that their challenges were not
my own. Their stories were overwhelming. Because of my own lack of
understanding I could not comprehend what they faced. In 2008 I attended a
Reconciling Ministries Conference with my parents. There I came to know more
transgender Christians. I spent a couple of afternoons on the playground with
my two-year-old daughter. Each day I encountered a man with his son and
daughter of similar ages. We engaged in conversation and discussed how his
journey at Iliff helped him redefine his faith. It was after this that I
finally took that leap of faith and applied to Iliff. I will always be grateful
for his words of hope and his courage. I was blessed to have crossed paths that
weekend with Malcom Himschoot.
During
my initial Iliff application process my first contact was Vince Tango. I was
further moved by his resolve and was even more inspired to follow my heart. From
time to time I read accounts of transgender people and felt a pull, yet I did
nothing. Recently I saw a post on Facebook with photos and disparaging comments
about Bruce Jenner and I was deeply disturbed.
With all the media propaganda I thought to myself “Dear God, I pray he has a strong therapist to see him through all of
this”. I have felt the pain
caused by rejection from a loved one. I have seen the destruction triggered by
un-forgiveness. I have witnessed the polarity ignited by religious disparity. Almost daily I read an article about
the suicide of, discrimination against, or stories of exclusivity of LGBTQ
persons (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender and Queer). Who we love does not
define our social, political, religious or economic preferences. There is much diversity within the LGBTQ
community itself. My challenges do not necessarily mimic those of a
transgendered or bi-sexual person but we can come together to facilitate understanding.
I have known loneliness and isolation in my life but I also know that I am a “sacred child of worth”. I believe that God has created us to be
exactly who we are and I believe He has specifically called upon me to reach
across the lines to promote love and understanding.
I never wanted to be an
advocate for the LGBTQ community. I wanted to blend in quietly but still felt a
deep sense of obligation to inspire others. For whatever reason, God continues
to place these people on my heart. I can no longer be a spectator when a Child
of God is being treated in any manner other than that which God calls us to. I
have a voice and I am obligated to speak out for those whose voices have been
silenced. It is my duty to stand up for those whose shoulders cannot bear more rejection.
I must do all I can to educate others so that understanding becomes a vessel
for love. Love is the unity I seek.
As
my daughter says, “I am God and God is in
me. I must love others because God loves me.” Today I humbly request your
acceptance for re-admission to the Iliff School of Theology. Empathy and compassion
are inadequate unless they provoke a response. Allow me to explore my passion and join with
you to shine a light of hope where darkness abounds.
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